lil spark: 14 weeks

 I know 2 posts in one day, we are wild over here at JMJ!


How far along: 14 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 3lbs, right on track per Doc!
Maternity clothes: a little of both, though I do have some gift cards that i am itching to use but saving for a little longer.

Stretch marks: nope
Sleep:  I am having a hard time finding a position to fall asleep in, still sleeping on my back some to relieve the pain in my shoulders
Best moment this week:   Hearing the heartbeat on Sunday evening and a great OB appointment yesterday.
Gender: to early to know still, I am still thinking girl mainly, but having some doubts.
Belly button in or out?: In, but it is wider and not as deep.  Chris mentioned he could viably see the change this week in my belly button.
Craving: Just eating a lot in general. Craving Organic 0% Milk.  YUM give me a tall glass please!  

What I miss: my twins, but I am so thankful for this lil spark too!

What I am looking forward to:  Feeling lil spark move in the next few weeks, the big u/s and moving into new pregnancy territory!

Milestones: 2nd tri is good enough for me!
Belly Picture comparison:

just in case you wanted to know how lil spark is developing:

From Baby Center:  This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.

In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

lil spark update & other things on my mind

Well, the 2nd OB appointment went great.  I wasn't nervous one bit because we had just used the doppler on Sunday evening and found the heartbeat so quickly. I haven't had many pregnancy symptoms to put my fears and doubts to rest, but hearing that heartbeat at the beginning of the week is priceless.  I really can't say it enough.  Though as I sit here typing I am STARVING!   Off to make a peanut butter and honey sandwich and a tall glass of organic 0% milk, YUM!!!  Ok, that was WAY too good, we really are going to have to buy some of the local honey that our neighbor sells.  Oh yeah, you didn't know there is a bee farm beside my house.  Back to baby stuff:  so, the next time we are at the Dr office should be the big Ultrasound.  Sept 22nd only 1 month away!!! Can't wait!

After the appointment, I headed into work and Chris had a few errands to run.  One included a trip to the hospital to speak with someone about the twins delivery bill.  We had gotten the bill in the mail last week, I knew what the number was going to be, but seeing it in print hurt a little a lot.  Over 7k for dead babies (that doesn't even include the prenatal care we payed out of pocket....lets not add it up that would really hurt).  I hope it doesn't bother anyone when I say things like that, it is just how my logical mind works.  I have been really stressed waiting for this bill, Chris kept talking about how we would negotiate with them, but I knew from talking to a few women in billing that there wasn't much room.  I, also, knew if I did the negotiating then I would end up in tears and Chris wouldn't be satisfied with the number IE a fight.  So, getting him to negotiate was the best thing.  Thankfully, Chris stepped up when I told him I couldn't do it.   

One other thing, I need to vent about.  Really, should it take 8 months to get the bill in?  I don't think so. I think for each month I should get a discount for their lack of organization.  I know it really doesn't work that way, but one could hope!

So, Chris was able it to get $700 knocked off of it...but we had to pay in full that day. So, out came the debit cards and wiped out our checking accounts.  But it is so nice that it is paid off. All that is left to do is print the confirmations and recieve a statement in the mail showing a $0.00 balance and file it all away.  This is the last "thing" out there hanging to be finished.  Interestingly enough I am not as emotional as I thought I would be.  So, I am turning the page on this chapter of my life.  I know there will still be some dark times; January 9th will  never be the same again, when people forget about our twins~they will ALWAYS be our first borns.  But, I hope that the pain will continue to ease and maybe one day I will be willing to release the ashes of the most precious bodies that I held inside me for 19 weeks.  But right now I like having them inside my home.  I want to bring this new baby home and know all my children are together under one roof, even if my twins spirits are in heaven.  I've always been a little scared of death, but I have wonderful Grandparents waiting for me and now my precious babies.  I look forward to seeing them all again one day. 

I am keeping myself busy these days.  I don't want to dwell on the past, even writing this post is deeper than I originally wanted to go.  I think of my baby boys often, I can close my eyes and remember holding them whenever I chose, even though doing that brings tears to the backs of my eyes.  I am trying to fill my life so full right now.  You should see my calendar most weekends are full of places to go and people to see.  This new baby has a lot to do with where my mind goes these days.  I am counting down the days to our next milestone.  I am ready to go into new territory, a place that I never got to experience with the twins.  It makes me both sad and happy to think about experiencing those things with lil spark that the twins and I never got to before.  

Who are you in there?  We want to know.  Who are you going to become? 


Is it February yet?

lil spark's exciting weekend including his/her first present!

This past weekend was really great.  We got a few house projects done and lil spark got a present! 

Friday night was family fun night and we headed over to Chris' brother's house to celebrate our 2 nephews.  Josh was headed to college the next morning and the Matt was celebrating a birthday.  Over all, the night was filled with good food, fellowship and cake!  I had made Josh a care package to take to college consisting of:  hershey kisses, lots of sugary hard candy, gum, bandaids, triple antibiotic cream, lysol, some snacks and other random stuff that would fit into a small tupperware/shoe box.  I think he really liked it as he FB messaged me that after his family left on Saturday he broke out some of the hershey kisses!   Josh is a great kid, super smart and is going to do GREAT at college...even though we will miss him being nearby; Campbell U is not too far away!

Saturday morning Chris and I slept in. I actually woke up at 8 ready to get up, but Chris got me snuggling on his shoulder and I fell back asleep till 9, it was wonderful!  We got up and ate breakfast and got working on some small house projects.  Chris hung the light at the bottom of the stairs and it looks SO GOOD! 

By early Saturday afternoon, we quickly showered and hit the road to Raleigh.  We were meeting up with Mom and Tommy to go to the new N.C. Muse.um of A.rt. 

I forgot my camera but check out a few of the sites we saw courtesy of goo.gle.

The exterior now has more grass.

 Here is the ceiling that diffuses the light, keeping out the harmful UV rays, but letting in the wonderful natural light.

This is how the whole place felt...open and airy not stuffy and overwhelming, that art on the back wall is a huge metal quilt, I wish I had an up close picture of it. Guess I will just have to go back!

Here is the Rodin exhibit that flows out into the garden

 

I think the building was my favorite part (I am my mother's daughter).  There was even a few Monet paintings, that Chris and I enjoyed looking at too. 

Saturday Evening:  After a great day we headed back to Tommy's where we ate an amazing dinner of shish ka bobs: pineapple, mushrooms, chicken, filet, tomatoes, red bell peppers hot off the grill ~ Chris will show you his burns it was so hot! 

Before dinner Mom gave Lil Spark a new book and read it to the new mommy and baby! 

Sorry for the horrible picture quality, but it is truly a very sweet story!  I think the men thought it was funny that she read it to me...but we didn't care one bit!  I can't wait to read this to a little squirming baby!  We finally got home about 10pm and I was exhausted, but content after a great day!

Sunday morning/afternoon we headed to one of our favorite places, Graham Friends (our church).  Then off to an awesome lunch at Crackle Barrel.  Get the new campfire beef or chicken it is AWESOME!

Judy (Chris' mom) and Sara (my sister) came by to see the finished look of our house and I think both were very impressed.  It was nice to have visitors for a little bit....Sara is the best she talked to me while I ran around cleaning, making beds, and doing laundry!

Sunday evening was chicken enchiladas, cleaning and laundry.  Chris even worked on setting up his office in the basement.  Right before bed we caved and used our doppler again, 157 whoosh whoosh.....I love starting the week off right clean house and my favorite music!!  

Stay tuned Lil Spark has the 2nd OB appointment on Thursday!

Lil Spark: 13 weeks

2nd trimester here I am...in 3 days!!!

The one perfect little peach!  Baby center dot com: "Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long and weighs nearly an ounce."

  
How far along: 13 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: not sure, and don't care!
Maternity clothes: wearing maternity clothes and some of my post twin pregnancy clothes
Stretch marks: none that weren't there before the pregnancy!
Sleep: tossing and turning from side to side and sleeping a lot on my back
Best moment this week:   When Chris said "you are really starting to show"!  Ironically, this happened with the twins pregnancy and this pregnancy about the same time! This morning after taking the picture he said I looked huge!  I admit it, I like it....but he doesn't even know what huge is!
Gender: still counting down the days till September 22nd (see ticker on right top), but I was 100% girl until my dream the other night, now I am undecided. 
Belly button in or out?: In, but it is wider and not as deep
Craving: Not craving anything really, just hungry all the time and still somewhat nauseous.  I think my 2nd trimester heartburn is about to make an appearance; right now it is still manageable.
What I miss: I still miss the joy of the first pregnancy.  I miss the walking around glowing feeling.  Don't get me wrong I love this baby and I am excited, but it is different.  I think it is that I've been burned and now the doubts creep into my heart and create a pity party in there.  Get out doubt and pity you are not welcome anymore! 

What I am looking forward to:  Our 2nd OB appointment next week on the 19th.  
Milestones: 2nd trimester is big enough for me right now! Lets just let this thing called time flying by!

Ok, so here we all are at glorious 13 weeks:

well, i now love my doppler

So, for the past two weeks I have been having an internal battle.  We saw lil spark at 10 weeks and then headed to the beach where I got moderately sick, just a little throwing up and maybe a low temperature.  But ever since then my pregnancy symptoms started to go away and I just had that sinking feeling that something was wrong.  Chris and family kept telling me, its ok, you are fine.  But that doesn't take away the fear that has been wrapped around my heart.  See last time I knew something was wrong with the twins, but I didn't want to admit it. 

A good friend gave us her doppler and we have been using it once a week per doctor's instructions not to use it anymore frequently.  Well, last night we heard the heartbeat clear as day for about 5-10 seconds.  It was so wonderful and put all my doubts to rest.  So for right now I can positively say, I am pregnant and I love this lil spark.

Can't wait till the next time i hear that: whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh whoosh!

Lil Spark: 12 weeks

How far along: 12 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: not sure I am not weighing myself at home anymore
Maternity clothes: wearing maternity carpis today (thanks Christie), and mostly my flowy dresses
Stretch marks: none that weren't there before the pregnancy!
Sleep:  Still peeing about 3 times a night, and tossing and turning side to side and sleeping some on my back too!
Best moment this week:   Chris telling me I am starting to look REALLY pregnant!
Gender: I had been 100% girl, until a dream I had this week.  I dreamed that I was in labor and they placed a little boy on my belly and I looked at him and said "Owen Cobb Holmes, you are FINALLY here!"  The dream was so realistic and detailed I can still remember what he looked like, I woke up in LOVE and wanted to go back to sleep to be with my baby.  So it is anyones guess now!  50/50 chance either way!
Belly button in or out?: In but a little wider
Craving: Not really craving anything in particular.  I did have a sweet tooth when I went to the grocery store, but then I never baked any of the cookies/brownies that I bought. 
What I miss: With the twins I missed my old beautiful house this week.  Looking back it seems like a totally different me.  With this pregnancy I am missing the joy and naivety, I know I want this baby  and I already love this baby, but I wish I could really enjoy this pregnancy.  I feel like a rain cloud is just around the corner or over my shoulder. 
What I am looking forward to: Next week being in the 2nd Trimester!
Milestones:  Same as with the twins:  Last week in the first trimester. I have to say it has been pretty easy!  Even though I have been nauseous all the time, thankfully no vomiting! 

Lil Spark:
via baby.center dot com

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long  and weighs half an ounce.

With out further ado the belly comparison: 

I think lil spark still has the lead in the bigger belly pics!

my sweet nephew

Kids completely amaze me at times.  I love hearing all the funny and smart things that they say and then sometime wow they blow you out of the water.  My sister-in-law is so good about telling me the sweet things that they say. 

We just spent a long weekend at the beach with Chris' family.  On their way home they stopped by our house on Saturday night.  On the way to our house the conversation went something like this:

(this is Jackson)

Mommy:  "we are going to Uncle Jesse and Aunt Jeanna's house." (Chris' first name is Jesse and when you become an uncle at age 12 you think it is cool to be like uncle Jesse from the dukes of hazzord, though i like to tease him that he wanted to be like the one from full house!)

Jackson:  "are we going to get to see the matching babies?"

Mommy:  "Jackson, remember they went to heaven, but Aunt Jeanna has a new baby in her belly."

Kayla (Jackson's older sister, I think is who said this):  "can this baby stay this time?"

 

Melt my heart, my nieces and nephews are all so special! All 13 of them!! Kristy (aka Mommy) and I then laughed thinking that Jackson thought we left our matching babies at home and just came to play at the beach with them!!!