lil spark: 34 weeks

This was written on Friday, but I am just now getting to post it b/c I am getting to be a slacker about the belly pics b/c I never get dressed anymore!

Wow, here I am 34 weeks a year to date when I found out our twins were gone.  Owen, you are almost 5 pounds according to some website and the size of a cantaloupe!  I believe it!  You kept me up all last night with your kicking and my back is so soar from carrying you around, BUT (that is a HUGE but, by the way) I love it and I would do it for you a million times. You are going to be worth every ache, pain, numb limbs, heartburn, and whatever else my body throws at me these next few weeks.  Your daddy was so good to me for Christmas and bought us (ok me) a prenatal massage.  It was wonderful this morning, she was able to get the kinks out of my back and I really could lay down and take a nap! But I've got too much to do before your arrive!

How far along: 34 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: up 35 pounds; not as bad as I thought!
Maternity clothes: loving my XL pants!
Stretch marks: no new ones so far! 
Sleep: didn't sleep much last night, tossing and turning trying to get comfy.  I did get up at 5am and eat a bowl of cereal with MILK and blueberries and then went back to bed.
Best moments this week:  realizing you are getting closer to being here...what am I doing on the computer I still have a MILLION and ONE things to do before I am ready for you to be here!?!?!?!
Belly button in or out?: officially out, but not huge
Craving: milk milk milk and check out this weeks expiration date!

What I am looking forward to: the u/s on the13th!! Next week!

one year ago

I found this poem and it says the words that right now I can't seem to find.

These are My Footprints
"These are my footprints, so perfect and so small. These tiny footprints, never touched the ground at all.  Not one tiny footprint, for now I have my wings. These tiny footprints were meant for other things.  You will hear my tiny footprints, in the patter of the rain. Gentle drops like angels tears, of joy and not from pain.  You will see my tiny footprints, in each butterflies' lazy dance. I'll let you know I'm with you, if you give me just a chance.  You will see my tiny footprints, in the rustle of the leaves. I will whisper names into the wind, and call each one that grieves.  Most of all, these tiny footprints, are found in mommy's heart, cause even though I'm gone now, we'll never truly part."

It has been one year since we said hello and goodbye.  My twin boys I will never forget you. Mommy and Daddy love you and we think of you often. You will always be in our hearts and we can't wait to meet you in heaven.

January 7th, 2010 and 2011

Today a year ago my husband, his mother and my sister piled in our cars full of excitement headed to the Dr.'s office to see our twins.

Our lives were changed drastically that day.

Today, this year my belly is swollen full of another child that when he moves takes my breath away.

I love you Abe, Benny and Owen you are all my boys, my children.


Today, I am also thinking of my good friend Jackie who I have never met in person, but who has become a very special woman in my life as she lost her little bean a year ago today.  We both had ultrasounds this day and we both received the worst news that our babies were gone.  I don't think I would have survived this past year without all the emails we exchanged.  There were times when no one else remembered our babies, but we were able to speak freely of them.  Thank you Jackie for all your support.

My prayer for this next year is for it to bring this little boy into my arms and home.  For Jackie, I pray that it brings a renewed spirit, health and a successful IVF.  To all the other women who have lost babies, or are waiting for their babies I am thinking of you and know how hard it is to start a new year with empty arms.  I pray that 2011 brings the baby into your arms one way or another.

Dr apt update and shopping

Dr APT:

I had an OB appointment yesterday.  Owen's heartbeat is right on track at 145-150; the belly bump is measuring 33 weeks and my blood pressure was excellent.  I spoke with my Dr a little more about the c-section.  For some reason I was worried about where she would make the incision because my placenta so low lying basically it is in the way.  She reassured me it would be a normal c-section and if the placenta was in the way she would just move it with her hand taking out Owen first and then the placenta.

Also, Owen is transverse; so if the placenta moves Owen would still need to move into the head down position.  As of right the last u/s he can't move into position b/c the placenta is in the way.  We could really see this on the u/s.  So at this point, Chris and I are not feeling very positive that the placenta will move and if it does I am not excited about having my Dr have to move Owen into position (sounds painful).  We keep telling each other as long as he is here healthy we are ok with a c-section.  I am not going to beat myself up over something that I can't control.  

Owen is a bit more head down and bottom up at my right rib than as the picture shows.

 SHOPPING:

On to more fun topics.  My mother-in-law came with me to Greensboro and after my OB appointment we went shopping!   There were a few items on our agenda as my MIL has offered to make a few items for this precious boy.

1. Complementary fabrics for the guitar fabric for a handmade quilt
2. pattern for his coming home outfit
3. yarn for a knit hat

We ended up having a very successful day!  We found five great fabrics to go with the guitar fabric for Owen's nursery quilt including a turquoises, a black with a tiny gray pattern on it, a solid gray, a strip that had ALL the colors in it, and a green on green dot.

Then we found a simple pattern for his coming home outfit that has a little jacket with pockets on the front!

Of course it isn't exactly 100% what I wanted, but I think with a few changes like cuffs at the bottom of the pant instead of the pleating, removing the buttons and adding details but keeping it simple.


Lastly, I picked out a fun red yarn for a little red knit hat that she is going to make for him!!  These are going to be some of the special treasures we will keep forever!!  So sweet!! I can't wait to wrap this baby in handmade love!

Freezable Meals Day 1: 2 soups

Yesterday, I got very organized here is a mini break down:

• narrowed down my recipes making sure I had several recipes for each type of meat and that included lots of vegetables
• then catorgized them by type of meat, as of right now I am going to have 4 big days of cooking, but I will add more if I have time and freezer space. 
• Beef-ground and cubed:  Santa Fe Soup, Zesty Beef Veggie Soup, Shepherds Pie
• Chicken Breast: Rosemary Chicken, Cream Cheese Italian Chicken, Chicken Tortilla Soup 
• Spiral Honey Glazed Ham: Ham and Hash Brown Casserole, Corn Flake Hash Browns, Corn Chowder (any left overs will be frozen seperatly and are GREAT for a quick pre-cooked meat)
• Ground Turkey:  Turkey Chilli (I would like to find another recipe to add to this day.)
• printed all the recipes or pulled out of my go to recipe box
• made a HUGE grocery list divided by each meat category. To keep costs down I am buying in bulk where possible, but I am also just buying right before I cook those meals so that the fresh food won't go bad. 
• Double checked my pantry for items: found a quite a few things!
• Looked for coupons in my coupon file and online
• Headed to Walley World

Here are all the items for the first 3 recipes!

The first two recipes that I did are the Santa Fe Soup and Zesty Beef  Veggie Soup.

I have cooked the Santa Fe Soup many times and I have forgotten how freaking easy it is to make and so yummy!!!  Right now it is cooling before I put it into the freezable containers.

Santa Fe Soup  

Since you cook the ground beef at the beginning you only have to let it simmer for about 30-45 minutes.  Here is the recipe if you are interested; I have no clue where I got it from as I have been making it since early in our marriage.

Ingredients:
2lbs ground beef: (I usually get the lowest fat percentage I can find at the store)
1 onion chopped (I usually use white)
2 cans, 11oz, of white corn (I had yellow in the pantry so that's what I used this time)
1 can, 16 oz, of pinto beans (ops forgot to buy them, but luckily had red kidney beans to substitute!)
1 can, 10 oz, of Rotel tomatoes with chillies (I used mild)
1 can, 16 oz, black beans
2 cups water (ended up adding more b/c I wanted it more soupy which will be better for freezing)
2 packages of taco seasoning
2 packages of ranch dressing mix (or about a half of cup if you have the big bottle like us!)

Directions:
Brown ground beef with the onions.  Throw in the rest of the ingredients, draining the corn and beans.  Simmer 30-45 minutes.

Either serve with Fritos, sour cream, cheddar cheese or in a bread bowl or like I am doing freeze in containers that are the correct proportions for your family.

Next, I made the Zesty Beef Veggie Soup.

Zesty Beef Veggie Soup (before)

Here it is in raw form, it needs to cook in the crock pot for next 6 hours on high.

Recipe: (somewhere off line, I hope this is good)

1 lb beef stew meat, cubed (I bought almost a 1 1/2 because my husband likes eating meat)

1/2 cup white onion chopped

2 tsp garlic, minced (or garlic powder that I had on hand, starting off a little at a time)

2 cups shredded cabbage (I bought this pre-shredded in the bag and it had white and red cabbage and some carrots, but I figured it would still work, more veggies the better!)

2 cups frozen corn

2 cups frozen green beans

2 cups carrots, sliced (I used baby carrots so I didn't have to peel them)

4 cups V8 Hot and Spicy tomato vegetable juice (used almost the whole container)

1 can, 14.5 oz, Italian diced tomatoes (never used these before, but they smelled good!)

2 Tablespoons Worcestershire sauce (we buy the low sodium)

1 teaspoon basil leaves

1 Tablespoon sugar (thought about using splenda, but then didn't)

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Add all ingredients into the slow cooker, stir.  Cover and cook on low for 8-10 hours or on high for 6 hours.   Taste to make sure its good before letting cool and freezing in serving sized containers or freezer bags.

*I have an awesome husband who is great at seasoning and he ended up adding the following:

Here is our final Zesty Soup!

By this point my feet are killing me and my belly is hard as a rock from all the running around today.  Did I mention I did laundry, dishes and general picking up around the house before the shopping trip?  Thankfully, Chris worked from home on paperwork and was able to help me get the groceries in the house.

Whew!  If you made it this far WOW and thanks for reading!!  

cooking in January

So, I am working on my list of items to cook and freeze and would love your help.  Please let me know if any of you have any recipes or suggestions to round out my list!

Dinners:

• Mild Chicken Chili
• Marinated Cream Cheese Italian Chicken Breast
• Zesty Beef and Vegetable Soup
• Ham and Hash Brown
• McCormick Crock Pot Chili with ground Turkey
• Chicken Tortilla Soup
• Shepherds Pie
• Santa Fe Soup

Sides:

• Corn Flake Hashbrowns

So, it looks like I am covered on the soups!  So, I was thinking if I cook 3 meals a week and each meal I can freeze 2 that would be 6 meals and I have at least 4 weeks so....that would be 24 meals!  Throw in the stouffers lasagna and chicken and rice meals and our new favorite PF Changs frozen meal bags and we will have at least the first month or so covered.  Thank goodness we have a stand up freezer waiting to be filled up!!

lil spark: 33 weeks

Oh my goodness 4 weeks until Owen is full term!!  Thank you Lord, you are so good!!!

How far along: 33 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: will find out Tuesday at my next OB apt
Maternity clothes: I really only like to wear pj's at this point.
Stretch marks: realized my new lotion was for FIRMING, ops, guess we will use that in about 6 weeks after this man makes his appearance!  I did buy the Mama Bee's belly balm, it is annoying getting it out of the tin, but it really does moisturize my skin!  I am really diggin' it right now. 
Sleep:  spent the first night of the new year in the guest bedroom, but hey I gotta do what I gotta do to get some zzzz!
Best moments this week:  Ringing in the new year with our bestest friends and their daughter.  It was low key, but fun!  We talked baby stuff all night!  Strollers, breast pumps, etc.
Belly button in or out?: working its way out
Craving: organic skim milk (have I mentioned this?)
What I am looking forward to: the u/s on the 13th!!!

By the way: 
I have approximately a four pound
pineapple in my belly!