I want to thank all those who commented yesterday. You make me feel not so alone and yet breaks my heart that some of you have gone through this too. I don't want to be alone through this, but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Why is life so hard?
I didn't want everyone to think that those thoughts and emotions are ruling my whole life. Yesterday was a bad day that was very stressful. We were supposed to close on our house and because the water test was not back my husband felt we should wait. I am not a patient person and then once that disappointment hit, it magnified throughout the rest of the day. Good news though, one of the water test came back good, don't know the exact numbers yet but we are planing on closing on the house on Friday...pending these results are satisfactory and safe for drinking.
Today was a better day, the sun was shining even if I enjoyed it only from the view from my desk.
Today, I still remember my babies and I am sort of ok.
PS: Krista, I might take you up on that rooftop offer one of these days.
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Anytime honey. Anytime. Just name the place.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that today was a better day! I pray that they continue!
ReplyDeleteGlad that you are having a better day today Jeanna! Hope you get to close on your house Friday! Can't wait to see it.
ReplyDeletethis road is definitely not a straight one as much as we would like it to be. some days it seems as if the peaks and valleys of grief are never ending. i identify with so much of what you said. i miss my girls and my belly and them inside my belly. they would have been born by now, pink and fat and healthy.
ReplyDeleteim so sorry we didn't get to hold our babies in the way we planned. some days it has to be enough for me that i got to hold those amazing babies at all.
sending you some peace and i hope it helps to know you are not alone.
xoxo