First, the all dreaded Mother's day CRAP is all in force at the stores right now: it is on almost every website that I go to, in the stores (even LOWES--seriously!?!), it has found its way into my mailbox via junk mail, and my email inbox via various emails that I am subscribed too.
Does the universe need to constantly remind me that I am not a mommy, or at least not being a mommy to celebrate about? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MOTHERS DAY ONE BIT! Sorry Mom, we are not celebrating this year, but I think you understand.
But then how will I feel if no one mentions that I am a mommy too? It might hurt more...I just don't know. Basically, I just don't want Mother's Day to happen this year. I don't want to have to deal with any of it, much less during the month that my baby boys were due.
I want to go back to March and the beginning of April, those months were full of denial and not having to worry and feel this way.
But time doesn't stop and the clock is ticking down and May will be here soon, which means May 31st will be here soon. On May 31st, I will not be pregnant and I will no longer be should have still been pregnant. Then June will be here the next day and with that we will have tried for a baby for 2 years and are still empty armed and now brokenhearted.
I hate May!
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I wish that I had some word or truth to say that would make it all better, but there are no words. Instead I am sending you HUGS and prayers.
ReplyDeleteHUGS. May officially sucks.
ReplyDeletei hate may for you!
ReplyDeletei keep waking up and hoping the day will come when this will all go away but i don't think its coming :o(
for me it got a little easier once i passed their due date. i hope this is true for you too.
just know that you ARE a mom. and you will be again...
hugs
xoxo
Big hugs.
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