CD19

So, here we are again on CD19 thought we were going to have an earlier ovulation, but looks like my body is still trying to ovulate. I've been looking at my chart and it looks like my body tried to ovulate on day 13, and again on day 18, hopefully 3rd times the charm and we achieve ovulation and really hoping for conception!
Well, I am trying to end this on a positive note and thought this poem was simple and sweet.

Before you were conceived I wanted you
Before you were born I loved you
Before you were here an hour I would die for you
This is the miracle of Mother's Love.
-- Maureen Hawkin

late night update

So, super excited because we've got EWCM and so then I thought why not see if we have any ferning. I tested for ferning this morning and got NOTHING...but once I saw the EWCM we then saw the most ferning that I've ever seen. Looks just like the picture! So, hopes are now high for this month.

happy tears

I have always been sort of moody, with my ups and downs. If you know me IRL (in real life) then you know if I don't eat I get very cranky (this is putting it mildly). In my family, we call it the wim-wams; sounds like it could be the name of a rock band! But, I am getting off topic. Today is an UP day in my journey to motherhood on this rocky IF roller coaster. Two days ago, was a down day that seemed leave that little gray cloud over my head.

Today, I got a surprise phone call from one of my forever friends. They are the friends in my life that I don't talk to every day, but that as soon as I talk to them we pick up right where we left off. These friends don't care that you don't remember birthdays/anniversaries; they know you deep down to the part that makes you-you! These women have left an imprint on my life, I am a better person through knowing them.

Julie, you touched my heart by calling today. Your sweet words and prayers are greatly appreciated. I think of you often too, especially when I see ladybugs & bumblebees, or hear a dixie chick song (remember how we cordinated outfits down to the matching black and white shoes for their concert!), or when I see a daisy-i remember how we taped up the border in our room and it was the cutest dorm room on the XO hall!

I remember how we giggled in our room when Kevin first asked you out, and how you wore my pink shirt on your valentines date with him! I remember how beautiful you were on your wedding day and how I got to drive you to the church! I remember your beautiful pregnant belly before we knew McLean and I remember McLean crying in Belk's the day you found out you sold your Charlotte house.

I love that you are reading my blog and following along with me...one of these days I am going to call you with some exciting news!!!

prayer request

Please pray for me unrelated to IF, but I can't talk about it yet. I need your prayers desperately. I should know more within the next month could be sooner.

argh

Why do the pregnant women have to pop up in unexpected places? Just as I am happily going my own way and not thinking about my empty uterus and arms then BAM! BIG BELLY IN MY FACE. I had a meeting last night for a group I volunteer for. Basically, from 7:30-10:15pm I sat there and listened to 2 women talk about their babies and the second one was PG with her second so she was complaining about symptoms and such the whole night. And "I can help out till my due date...I have nothing to do till the baby gets here..ops can't do that in a smokey bar 8 months PG" do i really need to go on, i am getting pissed thinking about it!

So, finally, I couldn't take it anymore and after a particularly long complaint about lack of sleep and more; I said "After trying for over a year, I would love to be complaining about no sleep if I meant i was PG." I was walking out of the room so she didn't get a chance to respond. Seriously, you shouldn't be complaining with women you dont know very well anyway...it is unattractive. You never know someone's situation . I guess her first impression of me was not the greatest...but i don't care maybe one more woman will sort of understand IF pain.

prayers needed

Annaleigh Lucy will be remembered. She was born at 25weeks5days, she weighed 1lb 8 oz and was loved by her parents and siblings. Please say a prayer for her family during this difficult time. Here is her story: http://threecheersforbabies.blogspot.com/

CD9: positive thoughts

Reasons I am trying to be happy that I am not PG:

1. My sisters bachelorette party this Saturday will be WAY more fun :)
   
2. I can eat and drink what I want
3. I can take long hot bubble baths and showers
   
4. I will be looking great at my 10 year high school reunion
   
5. I can work out as I please (wait...I hate working out this isn't really a positive one)
6. I can just jump in the car and do what I want when I want
7. I don't have to deal with childcare issues
8. I don't have to worry about how horrible this world is and how it will affect my child.
9. I can read my books and watch TV as much as I want
10. I can be as selfish as I want
    

I am not really happy about it and it makes me pissed every time i think about how i don't have control over this part of my life.......AHHHH!!