Owen laughing at daddy laughing

my bloggy friends

In no order of importance these three ladies have impacted my life and so all my lovely readers you need to be updated on these ladies.

First, lets send a HUGE shout out to my penpal (ok emailpal, but that doesn't sound cool).  This super strong woman just got her second BFP.  Jackie and I found out the same day that our babies were gone.  We came to know each other by comparing notes on what our bodies were going through and then our emotions after our loses.  She was/is my go to girl to talk about our babies and remember them.  She just had an FET (finally!! I have been anxiously waiting for them to be ready to try again!) Her beta's are doubling and her first ultrasound is on May 31st (ironically my twins due date-I see this as sign that she is going to have a great u/s and we are hoping for twins!!!)  

 Second, my fabulous bloggy friend Krista totally beat me to the punch in blogging about our playdate, but then she did have the pictures of our boys.  Krista and I met on the 1st trimester board when we where pregnant the first time.  Now our successful second pregnancies got to meet each other!!  Plus, Owen even got to test out some of Matthew's toys while the new mommies talked nonstop till time to go.  Owen and Matthew had plenty of diaper changes and lots to eat during all that talking! 

Matthew rocking out Owen's cool glasses.


Adorable Faces



Owen and Matthew

  

 

blogger video uploading advice

So my sister has requested more videos on here, it took me 45 minutes to upload the video to youtube.  The video was only 1:41 seconds.  I have tried uploading it with the video button and it wont work.

Anyone have a better idea?

Owen: 3 months

Wow, baby you have grown so much.  I am so in love with you and feel so lucky to be your mommy.   You have learned to blow bubbles with your mouth.  You smile so much when we coo at you. 

i can't smile big enough!

You talk to us in your baby language and it is so sweet.  You still sing to me while you are nursing, I love that sweet noise.  Now you stare at me while nursing and it is so sweet to connect with you this way.  It is amazing that just my milk is making you grow.  You have stopped taking bottles and while I feel proud we made it this far in breastfeeding I need you to take a bottle now and then.

You are starting to enjoy your baths, you get very serious and kick and splash.  I know soon enough that we will be telling you not to splash instead of encouraging you to splash. 

You are still such an easy baby, you only cry if something is wrong; your diaper is dirty, you're tired or hungry.  Recently, we bought you a play mat and you are loving staring up at all the fun stuff.  It only took you a week to start reaching for the dangling toys and I watch you try to grab it, think you got it and try and put it in your mouth!  Already you are able to make the bee light up and the music play. 

You like your swing and the mirror above it you will stare at and it entertains you while mommy runs around trying to keep up with the household stuff.  You met your Great-Grandmom this month and you were so sweet and smiling to her.  She wanted to be a great so much and you made her that, I made her a grandmother and we made her a Great!  This is very special to her and to mommy. 

Sometimes you will be crying and then we talk to you and you start smiling and then go back to crying like you can't decide what mood you are in! 

Daddy weighed you on our home scale and we think you are almost 15 pounds!  Our little chunker with the cheeks!  You have started standing on our laps and get that serious face and my arms can't last as long as you can! 

This month I pinched a nerve in my lower back picking you up and then over compensated with my left arm and now my wrist is out of place; all that pain is worth having you in my life!

We are so in love with you and sometime just stare at you!  You are sleeping pretty good, sometime you sleep all the way through the night and we get worried that you are ok!  I love it when you are tired and you put your your arms and face into my shoulder. 

I think you might love me back when I see this picture!

new phase in breastfeeding (need help!)

I have started working on Wednesdays and I am away from Owen for about 2-3 feedings.  I have noticed in the past few times that he was only eating half of his second bottle.  Chris and I decided that we should see what the deal is and we have found out that he isn't taking bottles like he used to.  He will take about an ounce and a half and then spit out the nipple and scream and cry through the rest of the feeding (ie what happened at my Mothers Day dinner and again at home on Sunday evening).  I googled it and seems this is normal for a 3 month old.  If anyone has any tips please let me know.

So far we have tried:

• me not in the room
• daddy feeding the bottle
• me feeding the bottle
• holding him in a total different position in a different place
• cleaning the nipples really good (why does BM create a film on plastic-yucky!)
• using the next flow nipple (drowns him and he chokes)

Some ideas I am going to try:

• warming the milk more (not burning but warmer than luke warm that we have been doing)
• fresher milk, I've been using several days old milk in the fridge or frozen

 Ideas i am not trying:

• buying a million bottles and nipples (a friend is going to let me borrow some of hers to try)
• if you live near me and want to let me borrow some........let me know ;)
• starving him/skipping feedings:  to get around this we are doing as google recommended and offering it to him 3 times and when he fusses or cries we are letting him play for 10 minutes before I feed him.

Would love to hear what has worked for other moms!!!

Laura Story - "Blessings" Lyrics

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

A friend mentioned that this song made her think of me.  I found the lyrics to be very touching as I did find "healing through tears" and some days the only comfort I found was knowing my babies were in Heaven with God as their Father keeping them safer that I ever could have.  I read the book Heaven is For Real.  It really helped me recently in picturing heaven.  (Please lets not turn this into a debate of if the boy really did go to heaven.)  In picturing heaven it gave me more peace about where my sons are, where I am going and a little less fear of dying.

Tomorrow is my first mother's day according to many. But really it is my second.  It will be the first mother's day that we celebrate, that I have anticipated for and not dreaded.  But it is still a little bittersweet as I will never forget those two faces that were so peaceful and still.  Tomorrow will be my first mother's day with Owen, my sweet precious little boy who continues to melt my heart everyday.  I love him more and more.  I love his smell, his hands that look like his daddy's, his gummy smiles, his eyes that look at me while he is nursing and that follow me as I walk across the room.  I could write forever all the things that I love about him and I've only known him for 3 months!  I had heard that being a mom was "difficult", "its a lot of hard work", "you'll never sleep again so sleep now" so I was told.  I don't look at raising Owen as work, I feel it is a calling from God put inside me.  It is difficult at times to make decisions on what will be the "best" for him, but not a difficult task that I have to get threw.  And those sleepless night that everyone seemed to dread.  I find that as I get up for yet another late feeding or early morning feeding, I look down at my precious boy and send prayers above of thankfulness.  I stare at his peaceful face and remember the other kind of sleepless nights of emptiness and grief.  How did I get so blessed?  Owen is so perfect and even after carrying him inside of me for 9 months and having him here for almost 3 I can't believe it.  I still look at him and wonder how he got here, how I am so luckly to have a healthy baby.

To all the mothers of babies in heaven I am thinking of you and all the women who desperately are wanting to be mommies.  It has been a very long year since the last mothers day and I hope that all of you get your take home babies too.

1st Easter and Christening

We had a great weekend in Waxhaw and my mom's Owen's Neana's house.  Owen met his only living great grandparent, my Grandmom.  There were many special moments, that I will treasure in my heart forever. 

Great Grandmom and Owen's Hands

Great Grandmom and Neanna were so excited when Owen arrived on Friday night.

4 generations

Friday evening Owen met his Great Grandmom and she wanted to hold him all night even when she got tired and it was passed her bedtime.  I think the traveling and excitement at the house got Owen very wound up and he had a very hard time going to sleep that night.  Finally, we decided to put him down and let him cry it out and I think he was so relieved to not be held.  Though he did cry for about 10 minutes before giving it up.

Saturday, we all slept in ate a leisurely breakfast before heading out to lunch and some antique shopping.  When we got the call that my cousins were in town we hurried home to spend time with them and so they could meet Owen.  Weslee and Julie were so sweet with him and I know they are going to love him and teach him many things at our annual beach trip every year.

Aunt Weslee

Aunt Julie

Saturday evening we ate a wonderful spagattie dinner with s'mores for desert by the fire.  Owen didn't go out to the fire, but had a quite time with my Aunt Jamie and I enjoyed relaxing and hanging out too.

Sunday so quick!  We had to hurry and get dressed to be at the church by 9:15am.  It was a very special service.  Not only were we praising Jesus' rebirth, but Owen's birth.  Owen did wonderful during the Christening, he didn't cry, but was awake and alert just watching Pastor Rick as he spoke.  It was a beautiful symbolic service moving many in our family to tears. 

Owen was captivated by Pastor Rick

the baptism

oh that was a little unexpected!

He was so good the whole time, not a peep.

I love those baby legs!

This is the candle that we will light with Owen each April 24th to remember his baptism.

Sweet face

After church we ate another amazing meal of roasted chicken, squash casserole, 3 bean salad, rosemary bread, caesar salad and strawberry shortcake for desert!  YUM!  Then we hung out around the house while everyone packed and got their last snuggles with Owen. 

Great Grandmom is so fun!

Aunt Robyn

soft hands

Neanna snuggle

Great Aunt Jamie snuggle

mommy did get some kisses in that weekend too!

Our little family.