It is weird to write this here. Because it is about this blog. Probably some of you who read this have already experienced this reaction from me if you know me "in real life".
I am going about my life just talking with a random friend, my mom's friend or just an acquaintance and then IT happens.
They say to me: "
I read your blog".
What immediately runs through my head is about a million thoughts.
What was my last post about? Owen's poop? Do people really care about that?
Oh my gosh.......WHAT!!
How in the world did they find my blog?
I am SO SORRY you had to listen to my boring life...my whining...my randomness!
Then they say:
"I cried/bawled while reading it"
OMG!
WHAT!
I AM SO SORRY!!!!
Awe....the know....they remember my babies. My little babies....how I miss them.
I feel bad when people say they read my blog and cried. I don't write to please anyone. I don't write to evoke sympathy or pity or whatever....but THEN on the other hand....it is nice to know people care. That they care so much about us that they took time out of their busy days to read my words, look at my pictures, that they cry for us, for the twins we lost and for the pain we went through. That for that moment my babies were remembered, that they touched someone else's life. Because they have changed my life forever.
My life is not so special....there are plenty of other women who have gone through far worse than I. But to get back to my main thought tonight. I wish I could just have a list of everyone that really does read this blog, that way when I see these people out and about I can know that they know all my thoughts and feelings that I put on here.
So, if you do see me don't feel like you can't tell me you read this blog. I do still want to know, but don't be surprised when I say "I'm sorry". Why women feel like they need to apologize for things that don't need an apology is beyond me and could be a another whole post.