1st medications for IF

LOL j/k!

CD17

So all of yesterdays thoughts were for nothing, oh well..my temp dropped majorly this morning so I think that means no ovulation as of yet. I officially will be getting nervous if it doesn't start rising tomorrow morning. I hope our vacation isn't going to mess up my cycle. Actually, now that I am thinking about it I wonder if the stress about selling our house earlier this week will put me back. There was about 4 days there where I was really thinking about it and then getting anxious those last 2 days. Well, I can't do anything about it now. I am so glad Chris suggested we do the deed last night. Thanks babe! We are headed to the beach tonight and I wont be back around a computer till Tuesday evening!!! Yippee!

CD16

So, I was just checking out my chart and if my temps keep going up it means I ovulated on CD14, which means today could be 2DPO! This is exciting because it means my cycle is a little shorter and hopefully means more normal. From my reading it could mean that I had a "better/stronger" ovulation this month. I am all for a shorter cycle, means more chances to get pregnant! Even though it means more periods through the year, but who cares about that at this point. If this is what is going on with my body then testing will begin on 12DPO, which is Aug 2nd (which is also the 5 days before missed period) but i might should wait longer, I am sure I will be analyzing this a lot more later.

I need to stop thinking about all this and not stress....haha! I have been so stressed about the HSG, all this getting PG and trying to sell our house my face has completely broken out! URRRHHHH!

CD14

Not much to report no detection of ovulation yet, but we are not worried yet b/c the past 2 months have been on day 16 and 17. So, we are keeping on with OPK, temps, and the ferning tests.

I did dream about 2 lines again last night....uggghhhh. In the dream, I was calling Anna to tell her all about the positive results and we were giggling with joy until the line disappeared! AHHHH seriously, I can't even have a real positive in a dream. Then, I woke up and had to remember it was all a dream and it still feels like a BFN! :(

HSG...DONE

We are moving forward. Today was my HSG, it was pretty uneventful compared to other stories. I arrived at A's house at 12:45, we wolfed down some food hopped in the car and headed to women's hospital. How ironic that 2 weeks ago exactly (almost to the hour) that I was headed to the hospital to visit A and her new little girl and now I am in the car with both of them headed back to the hospital. We realized this as we were siting in the waiting room. Anyway, we got there right on time and I signed in on the clip board. Well, it was really the wrong clip board and it took asking a few people before finally a lady got me signed in on the right board and they took me back in there. The process was quick and I felt a mild cramping for about 2 minutes. The radiologist (a female, which put me at ease) showed me the x-ray of my uterus and tubes and said that I looked normal and wished me an extra good luck in the next 3 months....we are supposed to be more fertile. Crossing my fingers and toes and saying a prayer that this test put my mind at ease and we get to join the club.

Thanks A for driving me and keeping my spirits cheered with your kids the rest of the afternoon.

HSG tomorrow

Say a prayer around 2pm that everything is ok and that this brings us closer to our goal...our baby. I am not really nervous...yet...I got to thinking in the shower that I hope the radiologist is a female, because I've never had a male gyno. I guess there is a first time for everything and if we do get PG I am sure there will be plenty more people takeing their turn down there checking things out...wow that was a crazy train of thought.

A poem

I ran across this poem on someones blog the other day and it really describes the way I feel. It is ironic that I found this the day after I spoke with my Grandmother. If you don't know my Grandfather passed away this past October, he was the heart of our family of women and is greatly missed. As I was speaking with my Grandmother, I asked her to pray for us and our future baby (My aunts say she has a direct line to God). I told her to tell Granddaddy to stop holding his great-grandbaby and send our baby down to earth for us to hold. She promised to pray for us, this is not asking much as she has been begging us for great-grandkids for the past 2 years. So, now that my Grandfather has passed away she is wanting to join him. We are not ready to give her up yet and I want her to be able to hold a great-grandbaby before she joins Grandad in heaven. Right now she keeps saying she needs to stay on earth long enough for my sister's wedding, well that is in September only a few short months away. I think once she has a great-grandbaby to hold she will want to be here longer. Enough already before I really bring on the tears....

A Talk With My Unborn Child
a poem by Amy Borens

These arms of mine are still empty, it's been far too many years.
I can hardly keep them hidden, the heartache and the tears.
I am waiting for you, sweet angel to bless my life, my heart, my soul.
I think I've been a good wife, now I want so much a mother's role.
My life doesn't seem complete.You are not there to hold.
A big piece of my life is missing your destiny is yet untold.
I see you in my dreams, baby ten little fingers and toes.
You have your Mommy's blue eyes and your daddy's ears and nose.
When my eyes are closed I think will your room be pink or blue?
And how much of my life will pass before all my dreams come true?
Will I ever know the joy of rocking you at night?
Telling bedtime stories and tucking you in tight?
Will I ever be able to comfort you when you fall and scrape your knee?
To kiss and make it better at the tender age of three?
Can I watch you graduate and drive you to the mall?
Your dad could take you fishing and teach you to play ball.
Will you make me a grandma when I am old and gray?
Looking back at my life I would be blessed in every way.
So why have I been left behind when I have so much to give?
I would gladly show you the whole world if you could only come to live.
Will my turn ever come? I search my anguished mind.
But questions without answers is all I seem to find.
I go home every night and fight the tightness in my chest.
The silence is so deafening in my big empty nest.
I guess God has a plan for me and I shouldn't have such fear.
But why you can't be in my life he hasn't made quite clear.
I pray for you little one everyday, can you hear?
So tell God we are ready to hold you forever dear.
You would never go without. We would shower you with love.
My little piece of heaven Sent from up above.