goodbye 2010

I can't say that I am sad to see 2010 go.  Yes, lots of great things happened this year, but it was the slowest year and full of the most pain I have ever felt.  January 2010 started off wonderfully, we were so excited to be bringing our twins into this world in May.  January 7th, we were excited to find out their sexes and begin dreaming about who they were. Within one moment our world came crashing down on January 7th and then it was finalized on January 9th when they were born.  2010 I said hello and goodbye to my sweet twin boys. Their faces will always be engraved on my heart, they are my firstborns.

But good things happened too. 

We found and purchased our 2nd home.  Renovating our new home pouring our blood, sweat and tears into making a beautiful place was therapeutic and rewarding.  When making decisions about the house my husband would respond with "whatever you want".  That want list was long, but we both saw it as small pleasures that would replace the ache in our hearts for a moment.  Popcorn ceiling was scrapped, sanded, muddied, sanded and more sanded then painted.  Crown molding was added.  All the walls were painted.  The fireplace, built-ins, kitchen all received makeovers.  Light fixtures were sold and replaced, can lights added, recepticals and switches changed to white and tamper resistant.  Curtains were purchased and hung and eventually move in day happened.

Living in our new home has been amazing.  I didn't understand the want or need for LAND.  Chris really wanted some surrounding acreage and when we found this house that had most of my wants and a HUGE basement and almost 8 acres I knew this was it.  Since living here, I get it.  It is so peaceful to look out on our land and see deer, beautiful trees and just the natural landscape that God created.  Wow, amazing.

Then, in the midst of getting settled in our new home we found out we were expecting again!  We couldn't have been more excited and scared.  This pregnancy has been wonderful and we have fallen in love again, this time with a little boy that reminds me he is there with his kicks and jabs.  We have listened to his heartbeat more than I would admit and it has been the music that has healed parts of our hearts.  I am scared to get too excited about bringing in another year and repeating the heartache of this past year.  There will be pain as we are approaching the 1st birthday of our twins and yet we know we need to get passed that day so that we can be closer to this little one's arrival.

So, 2011, I have a request of you bring this little boy to me-healthy and whole.  I want to use this year to celebrate his life.

I know that 2010 had to be part of my life story, but I am so glad it is over.